i was on this flight the other day, and as i was busy shoving the Bihari in front of me in true indian style, the pilot pushed past us.

nothing wrong there . except he had in his hand... a flashlight. Imagine

Chill Madu

There are times when a currency trader gets licked by an auto driver

The day i left my wallet in the cafeteria

i lost my purse. my drivin license, debit card, photo of my bro, crossword book rewards membership card, ang 8000 rupees

The Day i left my Phone in the cab

raging fever. cold and an impending cough. There is no justice on earth. i was sprayed by a apassing fumigating auto. (literally. they were using an auto to fumigate a residential area.)i was sitting in the comoany cab and the 2 ladies next to windows decided to roll up after the smoke had suitably entered the cab's air system and our lungs. very smart..

anyway

suitable fumigated, i left the cab sans phone. i reach home. try to unlock the door. too dark . oh - " let me light my mob"
ha!
realisation
panic.
i rush to the neighbors place - locked
next place- no need
next place- wait wait. yes! i blurt out in english an hindi
"phone!" she gets it
i use it
noone picks up my phone.
5 mins later, the driver calls back.
he berates me.
i run to where he asked me to wait.
after one too many dirty glance, he begrudgingly hands over the instrument.
i skip home
calling to tell my amazing story of stupidity

RTO Kakkanad part 2 May 11

this one was fairly fast. i was supposed to meet a certain LDC .. . while i was askin for her at the help desk, she marched in. the man at the desk id-ed her an she read my slip of paper.

she asked me to wait an indicated in the general direction of the waiting areas.
not to be slighted, i kept track of her as she moved here and there. i finally figured that she resided at counter number 11. onward then!

there wasn't much pushing or shoving here. she processed my request , again walking about all throughout the offices of the RTO. first into the help desk area. then into a secret hidden alcove, from whence she emerged with a blank sheet. Ah! the Fort Knox of the A4 sheets. again to the help desk area, and finally to me.

i was thrilled! that was fast!

Brush with beurocracy

Part 1

the day began with a well planned trip to the RTO (regional transport ofice? ? doe anyone really know??) the only problem was, that i forgot to wake up. Leaving aide the minor maternal skirmishes, i reached the Kakkanad bustop at 1030

as i got off the bus, there were 11 other women with me. all were dressed identically. starched saree, bulging handbags (for what? lunchbox or kaikkooli??). there was one woman in a salwar kameez, but she had lots of sindoor on her face, so she was probably too young to fit into the matronly group. (seeing how women in kerala choose to be married at 21)

i knew the general scheme of things. i went and perused a large layout board which informed me in malayalam and english that the offices i may be looking for were on the 3rd floor.

The moment you take the stairs, the renovation efforts are visible. lush marble and marbonite adorn the steps, smirking at the chipped cement of the ground floor. As you take the stairs up, you see the collectorate(i think) which proclaims itself in golden relief.

after much ambling, i reached the place in question. i walked in, and saw a help Desk board that pointed me back out of the room. the bearded official (i assume he was early to work, cuz noone else was there yet) read my letter. (i was smart enough to anticipate the need of one, on white paper , no less). he dug out my address, id number et al, based on my first name. i was told, however, that as my permanent address was in aluva(distant town), i wd be issued the duplicate only from there. what i cd get from here, however , was a "particluars" which i needed to produce at aluva. i was told to meet somechap - the mvi

Back to the ground Floor

the mvi hasnt come, the friendly uniformed chappie said, after much deliberation with his coleagues.

the Mvi arrives, but how on earth am i to know it is the f mvi?!
here's what u shd do. march boldly up in the general direction f where u know him to be. as loudly , has the mvi come? the reply will come. yes. and as irony would have it, the respondent was the mvi.

he peruses my request. makes some changes, switches the power on. boots his system(XP), atrts the software, enters username and pw (i am standin an reading it!! how careless!!)and digs out my record looks at it, and tells me i need to get the "particulars".

By now i had become quite desperate to get this elusive "particulars". Nothing can come between me and my particulars, i tell him. he asks me to go bak up to the place came from.

Back to the HelpDesk 1

Go to Counter 5.

after much fighting and pushing, i pay 70 rs and get a receipt

Back to Help DEsk 1

Go to counter 3.

wait for woman to come (phlegm infested female with a chequered cloth at her nose)

Go to help desk 2

Push and shove bit more to get sign and staple.

Go to counter 3.

Get receipt that Says many things in small print. Could this be the "particulars" ?? nay i say, too small a slip to make such a big fuss about.

i decide to re-ask the phlem female.
" ga gobe gab gager"
"manassilayilla"
she scribbles on the receipt slip thing.

" COME BACK on MAY 11th. "

aaaaaaaargh . foiled once again

the day i sat outside

i sat in the vestibule from 735 till 10 - no house key - next day morn , see key in purse. why? how?

its hard to elaborate wen u r as gifted as i am in comin to the pt